conversations with my broken pencil

~"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more." -Dorothy Parker. i think i'd adore her. i think i'd abore her.

~'Words so Leisured', by Franz Ferdinand because it's a confused-reverence/observation about a clever woman.

~The Secret Life of Words, i love her silence. i love her methodical way. i loathe the reason. crimes against women.  never explanation, never justification. neverending.

hi gang. pull up.

i don't feel much like writing.  did you know that reading this blog also gives you free access to dee ann's Contributions to Crappy Copy?

it's true, and it's free.  i write for men's clothing.  it's a supreme-o job and i dig it, but sometimes, when i have to write for crewneck #79 that looks like crewnecks  #1-78, i've got to break out and do a little bit of stream of consciousness. 

every now and again, i'll submit it here as i'm sure to get sacked if i submit it there.  

sleep, my friends.  sleep as much and long as you can.  and don't sleep with those you love. cheers and i continue to be thankful for my readers.

Triple-blend jacket
Hi. My name is jackety-jack. I'll be serving as your layer this evening, and any other evening that you don't take out your girlfriend because you're a lout. Pay no attention to the little spot of vomit on the sleeve. I don't even think it's mine--the vomit, not the sleeve. Two front button-flap pockets hold your cell phone and condom/cocaine packets. Make sure to write out the "they aren't mine!" excuse and practice it for when your girlfriend catches you. You can even keep your excuse in the button-flap pocket, but make sure to take it out so your g/f doesn't catch you a third time prompting you to come up with even one more excuse to explain the excuse. You know what? Relationships are complicated. Break up with her, but keep the jacket. It's nice.
The essential outer layer crafted in substantial cotton, wool and nylon provides warmth and style for every season.
Ribbed mock collar, cuffs and hem. Two front button-flap pockets.
86% Cotton, 10% Wool, 4% Nylon.
Dry clean.

Cotton crewneck
Why would anyone pay 45$ for something that's already faded? Why don't you just hand me the 45$ and I'll tell you what to wear. For starters, you're not fooling anyone with that sporty half-tucked shirt. You're old. Deal with it. Next, how about wearing pants that actually make you look like you have an ass? If your butt gets invaded by aliens who deflate it with supernatural hoses, then you have my permission to wear baggy-ass pants.
While we're at it, wash that shit out of your hair. Save "edgy" for the Grand god-damned Canyon.
Great on its own or as a layering piece, this comfortable go-everywhere shirt is a wardrobe essential.
Crewneck, long sleeves.
100% Cotton.
Machine wash.