Monday, July 14, 2008

My Ma

~"The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character." -Isabelle Eberhardt.  I think she's got something there.  It's like i always say memories are too much responsibility.  When is anybody gonna start quoting me, for cryin' out loud??

~'Streets of Bakersfield' by Buck Owens because i'd give my right toe to be 1/2 the storyteller that Buck is.  and the song has a little bit of "check yourself, pal" to it.

~East of Eden, because some people are so cold, and others need to be told a thing or two.

hiya gang.  started the new job today.  it's going to be ok, but i had the first-day dummies:  they didn't really have too much for me to do; they were working toward a deadline so there wasn't much time to explain procedure, protocol, etc. so there's that.

but here's what i wanted to relay to y'all:  the days at the beach with my ma.  she's so great.  i was craving beach-time when i went south.  as you know, the ocean and sand are good good good to my soul.  i convinced ma to come with me, get a little vitamin d and vitamin dee, and vitamin v (vodka, for you rookies).  the first day we packed up mimosas.  so much fun, we went the next day with screwdrivers.  school's out for summer so there were a lot of preteens and families...and a lot of old bastard pervert pencil dicks.  they stand up on the sidewalk and ogle.  gawd they're gross.  so mom says something awesome:  "They're here for the fantasy; we're here for the laughs."
bless her heart!
i've got this problem, as anyone who's paying attention could figure:  i take things kinda seriously.  too seriously. i let things bother and get to me to the point where i'm almost debilitated. for example, the other day i started crying while watching "E/R".  and i hate that show! it's not sentimentality; it's hyperhyper-awareness and just plain stubborn stupidity. many days, i wish i didn't know what i know.  so to hear my ma say that was inspirational.  i just need to repeat it to myself every 2 minutes.  i'm workin' on it, kids.  i'm workin' on it.  i've got bile for brains, mud in my mouth, and cherry pits for a heart. but i'm trying to be better.

ciao and thanks for reading. guh. cheers, clink.  bah.

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