~"Women like me can only submit to men capable of dominating them, and I have never found anyone capable of dominating me." -Anna Magnani, but it's fun to keep looking!
~Serpico, i will watch this film several times a year. who's a bigger bad-ass than Frank Serpico? Seriously.
Hi kids. Thanks for coming. Sit for spell while i spill, why don't you?
i've been thinking about bar names. i always thought The Augur Inn would be a good name for a dump. i guess it's pretty juvenile, but i still get chuckles out of bars with names like The Office and The Library. then i wonder about all the bars in new york and how they must have some pretty fabulous names (i love the name Hell's Kitchen).
then i kept thinking when i should have stopped thinking.
there should be two different hells. one for pedophiles and politicians, and one for me and my friends. stay with me here: if heaven is full of chaste, clean-living teetotalers, i'm not sure i wanna play. here's my vision of hell: descend in the same elevator that Katherine Hepburn used in Suddenly, Last Summer --so wicked! cigarette, cigar and pipe smoke slither through the elevator gate. there's also the smell of marshmallows- have you ever opened a bag of marshmallows and huffed? you should because it smells like birthdays and birthdays are awesome.
the lighting is low and pink with sparkly flecks from the multiple disco balls glittering the gigantic dance floor. naturally, hell is an open bar with several able and attentive barkeeps, but it's not a meat-market. none of that. the only "checking out" people are doing is in the other room which happens to be a library, floor to ceiling books and mags. sound-proof walls and a fireplace (tee hee hee- a fireplace in hell. i crack myself up).
ok back to the dance floor. here's where i get self-flagellating, but not without a sense of humor. nobody's really dancing because, after all, this is hell and we've done something "wrong" to be there, let's be fair. so nobody's dancing because not only are the 8 foot screens showing Michael Bolton videos on a loop, but the massive speakers are blasting Kenny G tunes! baHA! but you know what? it's totally ok with me and my friends because Bolton and G are fodder for humor and jokes and sin-spirited jabs. and every 2 hours the barkeeps ring a bell for the "How lame is he?" game: for example "Michael Bolton is so lame…." "How lame is he?" …and the person with the funniest jab gets, well, the biggest laugh (drinks are already free, what could possibly be a better prize?).
i know that's a mean game, but when you're in hell you have to do something to pass the time.
cheers. clink. enjoy your self.
ok back to the dance floor. here's where i get self-flagellating, but not without a sense of humor. nobody's really dancing because, after all, this is hell and we've done something "wrong" to be there, let's be fair. so nobody's dancing because not only are the 8 foot screens showing Michael Bolton videos on a loop, but the massive speakers are blasting Kenny G tunes! baHA! but you know what? it's totally ok with me and my friends because Bolton and G are fodder for humor and jokes and sin-spirited jabs. and every 2 hours the barkeeps ring a bell for the "How lame is he?" game: for example "Michael Bolton is so lame…." "How lame is he?" …and the person with the funniest jab gets, well, the biggest laugh (drinks are already free, what could possibly be a better prize?).
i know that's a mean game, but when you're in hell you have to do something to pass the time.
cheers. clink. enjoy your self.
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